So. I don't like to write about me, particularly. In fact, I will most likely delete this post once I am back in NYC. But I have something REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY important to say:
GROWING OLD IS GOOD. I like it. Every year gets better and better. I don't mind ever telling anyone how old I am. The only thing I don't like is how society doesn't realize or appreciate what precious commodities our older citizens are, and I've thought that for many many years, even way way before I hit my mid-30s. Probably because of how my grandmother lived her life and how I saw her live and she would say these things I say now. Other cultures appreciate and have a respect for those who have lived longer.
How sad that young people, when told the age of someone directly by that older person, can't think of anything else to say except "oh. you don't look that old." My daughter laughed and thought I was extremely unusual when I told her I love getting older when she called to wish me happy 50th.
My mother wrote me a birthday letter: "How can you be 50 years old. Seems like yesterday that I turned 50...I think about having your scrapbook made before you were born with your name on it -- and Mother being concerned in case you were a boy... I Samuel 1:27 - FOR THIS CHILD I PRAYED, AND THE LORD HAS GRANTED ME MY PETITION WHICH I ASKED OF HIM. Proverbs 31:29 - MANY DAUGHTERS HAVE DONE NOBLY, BUT YOU EXCEL THEM ALL." She added that 40 is the age of youth and 50 is the youth of old age.
I would think that life is always about being open to change and happenings, working to make good use of gifts and talents, and living and loving beyond ourselves. I had a wonderful birthday especially, most especially, because I was busy with other things and it could just beautifully glide by. I spent time with my future son-in-law without my daughter here as she went back to school. I was busy planning a wedding. I was praying for my sister-in-law's surgery and caring for my family and enjoying friends and an unexpected snow.
There are times that try souls but that is what makes life so rich
and deep. Right now I'm happy. Right now I don't care - if I ever did, really - about being cute.
There are chores I must do and things I
must attend to. Growing older is not about growing cuter.
Let's grow up. Mothers of the bride aren't cute. Lovely maybe but not cute.
Cute is for babies. Being real is the deal. Being old is good.
Did ya get a red hat? Happy Birthday girl! Those feelings are your hormones talkin. I have cried over dumber things. I just don't let anyone see. My lastest is my niece has yet to take a photo of me and her new baby. Hubby yes, me no.
Posted by: janet | January 06, 2007 at 04:15 AM
Happy birthday MotherPie. Getting old is great, as long as you are healthy. But I guess that goes for being young too. ;)
I enjoy being old and having and taking time to do the things I enjoy doing.
And there's nothing wrong with crying a bit when you feel like it. I've been known crying out of joy, out of sorrow and out of seeing some silly films ;) So there!
happy birthday again, and many many happy returns.
Posted by: claude | January 06, 2007 at 06:04 AM
Please, drop by my blog where I left a little something for you :)
Posted by: claude | January 06, 2007 at 06:18 AM
Happy birthday! Love your 'tude!
Posted by: Rhea | January 06, 2007 at 07:23 AM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Lauri | January 06, 2007 at 07:31 AM
"Getting back to NYC" -- all that other life and its promise and its challenge and its energy and its affirmation. Family sometimes see with eyes that can't quite take in all of who we are becoming -- or have always been.
And, yes, the cry that even a good spouse or partner might not get, might not know to let be.
What a true post... don't delete any part of it -- unless you feel you absolutely have to.
Happy Birthday! (And Claude's surprise is a lovely one...)
Posted by: David | January 06, 2007 at 07:48 AM
You are gorgeous. That's my word for it. I saw a mother of the bride the other day and I've seen her in the grocery store, no makeup because she was up all night grading papers or nursing sick children. I tell you what- when she walked down the aisle before her daughter, I gasped-- she was absolutely stunning.
You will be too. Acceptance of ourseleves is so rare as to stun those of us who need to see it- specifically mothers of children who have early lost our appeal-- the kind we should never have cared about to begin with-- and places a perfectly fitted, sophisticated, refined, glamour in place of that shallow desire.
Happy Birthday Motherpie-goddess. You are beatiful.
Cute cannot touch that.
Posted by: merry mama | January 06, 2007 at 08:58 AM
How wonderful this cyber world is...some of the nicest wishes you got on your birthday were from fellow bloggers and cyber friends! I've made a wonderful friend, Janet, through your motherpie site. And you should realize, your life is only beginning...you have so many years left and with so much wisdom. Read the book, Women Who Run With the Wolves, the author says women are a member of the scar clan...like wolves. Instead of how old you are ; one should state how many scars they have. At 50, you have had many scars and deserve respect from the rest of your pack. So, from one of your pack-in-laws, I wish you love and 50 more wonderful scars...I mean years! Carron
Posted by: Eleanor Mainwaring | January 06, 2007 at 09:13 AM
Well, by golly, I have another thing to say...Your posts are so rich when you write about you and we love it! We want to know you, because your thoughts are like our thoughts. We love it when you say the things we are feeling, but can't verbalize. We are such a youth oriented society and, you are dead on with your thoughts on lack of respect for those older than we. But, they say, 50 is the new 30 !...just getting started and this time with experience and savvy and street smarts. You should know that you are in Santa Fe, there people value your soul, your strength, your intelligence, and don't give a whit about how you look. They don't dye their hair or get plastic surgery much there. They are survivalist and into their own lives too much to notice yours. And your kids will be 50 someday... and they will remember what you modeled for them. So, head up; chest out; and know that you look maaavelous dahling! Carron
Posted by: Eleanor Mainwaring | January 06, 2007 at 09:28 AM
Happy Birthday, MotherPie. Fifty is a good age - wish I was 50 again....LOL. Claude sent me.
Posted by: kenju | January 06, 2007 at 09:51 AM
Me again, I'm with Eleanor all the way of this post. I particularly like when you post things that lets us get to know you better! We all your friends!
You don't wear BVD's do ya?
Posted by: janet | January 06, 2007 at 10:52 AM
(Arrived here via Claude's blog.)
Happy Birthday Motherpie! I don't think of 50 as "old" at all, but then I'm not a "youth" anymore, either, at 34.
Cute is totally overrated... it's for babies and kittens. The texture of experience has its own beauty.
50 is a great number! Enjoy!
Posted by: Gail | January 06, 2007 at 11:14 AM
Happy Birthday! Claude sent me. I started a new life at 51, but it sounds like you're enjoying the one you've got. That's wonderful.
Posted by: savtadotty | January 06, 2007 at 12:27 PM
I'd wish you a happy birthday, too, but it seems you've already got that part down. So I'll wish you the most wondrous year of life yet, with all the best still yet to come.
Posted by: Jennifer | January 06, 2007 at 01:51 PM
Well, I'm joining you in being 50 this year (this spring). Is 50 old? Looks like it in print, but sure doesn't feel like it on the inside. Happy birthday to you!
Posted by: tut-tut | January 06, 2007 at 05:31 PM
Happy birthday! I love your mother's statement about 40 and 50. I'm going to remember that. (I'm 36.)
Posted by: mayberry | January 06, 2007 at 08:56 PM
Happy Birthday!! It's so good to read about how well you're doing!!!
Posted by: Kathy | January 06, 2007 at 10:29 PM
Visiting here via Claude's blog.
And a VERY Happy Birthday to you. I have the big 6-0 coming up in March....and like you, I welcome it with open arms. The past 10 years have been the best of my life. (And...turning another year older always beats the alternative, I say)
So enjoy your special year ahead.
Posted by: Terri | January 07, 2007 at 07:42 AM
A belated but none-the-less sincere "Happy Birthday." My dear, at 50 yrs you are but a babe in arms. I recall seeing my doctor around that time and telling him I wanted a thorough check-up for the next half of my life. You certainly have the right idea with: "I would think that life is always about being open to change and happenings..."
Posted by: joared | January 08, 2007 at 02:20 AM
With Joared, a belated but sincere happy birthday greeting!
Posted by: Liz Ditz | January 09, 2007 at 03:26 PM