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November 29, 2006


My son never like to run (or skate), he said he would miss too many things on the ground that were cool (and as a little boy would ultimately pick up and put in his pocket). So its ok if you don't skate through life. Maybe there is something on the ground for you out there in the future, and hopefully its really cool.

I'm proud of in each of my children and yes, it is ok not to skate through life. Actually, perhaps it is so much more enriching if we grow in the process. And maybe you are right. There might be very much to be said for looking down for our own bit of heaven and not (dreamily) up.

Thank you for that well written beautiful post. For some reason it made me cry. I have had such a struggle with raising my son, knowing the right thing to do. He is nearly 21 and I've finally figured it out sorta. I have been doing it all wrong for years.
I'm not sure until recently that he knew he was the most important thing in my life. He always has been I'm just not sure he knew it.
What a difference it has made for him to find that out!

I wanted to nominate your proposal post and then I read this, and I'm torn. They are both so simple, so beautiful. So needed. This one especially for me right now as we are in the process of deciding whether to uproot our children from their life-long home and start over... it's just too hard to find work, and a job that will help us to move into a house where we can all spread out and still like each other. I love this house, I love my life, (except for the poopy days, of course) but it's time to grow and ohhhhhh, it hurts. Thanks for taking the time to mother those of us whose mothers are too busy, too consumed with trying to survive themselves. It's the best you can do, and it's enough for us. Thank you. I admire you. I hope I can be as graceful a mother as you some day.

My dear gentle motherpie...I feel your burden. But know that others have gone ahead and forged a path for you. These events of joy and sadness and the juxtaposition of the high highs and the low lows IS the reality of being a mother. As Janet said, the most important thing is that your children know how very much they are loved and that they can count on you to be there for them. And yours know that. I see the beauty and joy of my daughter who struggled so long and so hard to get to this place at age 34. The chaos and grief that surrounded her little life from birth to 25. She is on auto pilot now ! But she had enough struggles for two lifetimes by the time she was 18 ! Your posts about the engagement and the one today are so real, one can feel what you are feeling. This is GREAT writing. This is what other mothers want and need to read and know about. There is an internet full of people struggling with similar issues and your posts will reach and help them. You are so fortunate to have the love of a family behind you when you feel you can't carry it alone anymore. Your children are precious and will survive; you just don't know it yet! The hands of the clock must go around and while they are, you will have to be patient and allow the journey to unfold before you. It is HARD to patient when it involves watching a child struggle. But, as you point out, you are also planning a wedding! For me, it was a teenager suffering, and God sent me a new baby. The ultimate of joy and pain in motherhood.

A lovely post. In my view, we are all skating though life. Some of us seem to do it easily, slipping easily across the ice with grace and speed like water through fingers. Others of us twist and wrench and flail and fight and struggle the entire way with the grace of an ox. But we all fall down. We all bruise. And we all get up and go at it again.

Motherpie - you've struck a chord with this one! If only mother-love could move mountains... heal all hurts... but whilst we know that a Mother's kiss can't remove the slings and arrows that the Big Bad World throws at our children, it sure as hell makes them easier to bear. That's what we, as mothers, through our love, can do... the only thing we can do... provide the warmth of our hearts, our kitchens, our arms, to offer sanctuary, however fleeting or temporary, a respite from the crap! I've got to second Merry Mama's wise words. Gosh you guys are great! We ARE strong - thank you for reminding me. Mother-love to all.

Ms. Happy H.... I wish my kitchen was warm... I do way too much take-out since I've been in NYC. Now my husband... he can cook up a storm. I'm lucky.

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