How Are You Different, Real vs. Virtual?

How does creating/presenting yourself online different from that in real face-to-face life? That was one of the open-ended questions asked in my blog study.  Here are just a select few of the 338 responses:

There is a lot less rejection online so I am more willing to be me online;    ...When you're readinga post you don't get the body language and facial expression of the speaker, so it could be easier to misinterpret something or take it the wrong way when reading than when speaking face-to-face.;  It's harder and more complicated.; I am a lot bolder and more open online.  I do feel like my online persona is somewhat of a charicature (sic) of the real me.  Sort of the Lucy Ricardo-ized me.; More positive and upbeat; ...One can be anonymous and therefore able to discuss things one might never discuss face to face with somebody for fear of retribution - embarrassment.; I only divulge one aspect of my life online, and even that is filtered.;

This is quite interesting...  more on the flip.

I am somewhat of a social recluse at times..... it is easier for me to let go on-line.; I can be the real me and can easily tune out the disapproval of others.; Words take longer. On the other hand, they can be truer (as long as one is honest) than physical appearance since that has its own baggage (race, gender, etc.).; This is the real me, with no clothes on; There is the cushion of anonymity, but I find myself less and less threatened by the fear of revealing my true self to those I have "met."; control; It's easier to speak.; Much more freedom to portray yourself as you wish to be seen, without the risk of contradictory information surfacing. Ahem, not that I do that, of course....; I censor myself less.; I have time to polish my thoughts and be creative.;   My politics are more apparent on my blog than they are in real life; I don't think there's a difference except there's a greater access online, anytime, in or out of pajamas.; I am more confident on-line, because I can "edit" myself!.; Easier to be real.; I am the same person.; I'm a little less inhibited.; People online have no preconceptions as to who I am. They can't be shocked by my actions, because they haven't known me since I was x years old.;   It is about personality and not looks.;  It clears the air of pre-judgments. No one reads me because I'm ugly, pretty, short or tall, black or white, poor or rich. They read me because they found me and like what I write.; One cannot hear the inflection in your voice or the expression on your face as you speak and portray emotions and feelings with your body language and face.; Not much different, if anything I am more myself online!; Can be more honest as am anonymous; Sometimes I feel as if I able to be more "myself" through my blog. In real life, I don't usually speak my mind to people but on my blog I can voice my own opinions about subjects that matter to me.; Because of my privacy concerns and wanting to avoid something coming back to "bite" me, I try to be very careful about what I write. That means a good deal of self-censorship -- regrettably; In real life, I can be boring.  I can't, really, in a blog--nobody would read it!;   Even if I don't have a captive audience online, I can pretend I do.  It's all about me.;    Very little.  I use a psuedonym, but other than that, what you see is what you get, in person or on-line.; It's a way to document children's activities and timelines with growing up.; less is more. I like being pithy.;      I look better in real life, I swear!; i have more time to check in online then meet at social events during the day.; Through the blog, people get to know me more intimately - all of the personality quirks, weaknesses, etc. Face to face, I tend to mask those "negative" attributes. In "real life," people don't know me as well.; Not much.  Real life people don't find me very interesting either.;    I am better in writing than I am in person -- less spastic and able to edit. Online, I can present the introspective parts of me that I rarely share with people face-to-face.;   there's a gap - a barrier, buffer that you can control; It is easier to explain what is going on in my life through my writing then in phone conversations. I get really intimidated with other blogs. I think my on-line persona is only a small sliver of my real life person; there are a lot of things that I don't write about on-line, things that aren't necessarily about ME but that affect me (family issues, for example); We can communicate during work hours, when normally we could not.; You cannot edit yourself live and in person. Online personas are a little more manufactured. You select the best picture, or an obscure one for your profile, for example.;  MORE MYSTERY;   I'm more chatty--in person I'm quite introverted, but I feel I'm "in my element" in the online world.; Not too much. I tend to be a little more honest online, not about major stuff, but about whether or not I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes in real life it's necessary (or seems that way) to put on a happy face no matter what. Online I'll allow myself to be a little moody here and there.; You can be who you want to be and present your persona and get feedback without the awkwardness of the face-to-face encounters.;   Easier to say what you think, in many ways.; No make-up; I am quite shy in real life and wouldn't put myself out there like I sometimes do in my blog.; I'm more careful -- in real life I'm disorganized and all over the place, not exactly a solid rock, but online I'm concerned about being a good, disciplined, and thoughtful writer at all times.; No make-up; I think that we are much more open on our blogs than we would be without them. I share things on my blog that I would never think to say aloud to someone.; I have to remember that my ex could far more easily harm me with words I have written than with words I have spoken. On the other hand, I can be more comfortable and more myself in some ways because it's harder for others to ostracize me online: the online world is large enough that there will always be some group that sees where I'm coming from.; It is the same on a superficial level. However, I am very careful about disclosing personal information about relationships, etc.; I try to be more positive online and write about things that the audience finds interesting, even if that's not always what I'd like to write about.; You can change your blog easier than you can change your work/address.; Some exaggeration for effect - I can talk about my house as a complete sty, but I would not have people walk into it as a total mess. I am more limited online. I don't generally talk politics, or complain about small slights, or talk about certain parts of my life that could cause problems for others (work, family outside my nuclear family); I am ever so much more articulate in writing.  I more confident when I have time to think.; Online people meet the emotional/intellectual "me" instead of the physical me; I try to keep it very similar, but a person only knows how much they read.;   I don't get very personal online. I try not to get into too much negative emotional stuff; I try to keep my blog a light-hearted, positive place as much as possible.; people take me more seriously online;   I try to leave out the boring stuff.; I am exactly the same except I curse more online.; Not much different. I curse less online.; You can be more uninhibited and more "yourself" online.; Not at all. I'm very WYSIWYG.; In real life, I am shy, not fond of socializing, and often unapproachable. Online, I come across as much more open.; I am more reserved and private online. If I met you in person I wouldn't hesitate to show off pictures of my kids, to tell you stories about them. I'm also more political in person. I try to keep the blog unpolitical because it could quickly become ALL about politics and that's not why I wanted to blog.; I am more opinionated and snarky online than I am in real life. I have 'attitude' online.; You rarely get to see me on my blog. Age, looks, finicial status is not a real factor.; More self-editing, privacy, the fact that everything is public; have to be careful about content. Are online relationships real. However, it is easier when life is so busy. The conversations are disjointed in time.

THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT AND THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS.

Comments

[Old Horsetail Snakeo]

Ain't anonymity grand?

[Bellezza.mjs]

I feel like I could have written this post (although not as well). I, too, am introverted and not as apt to reveal myself to one's face. It's easier for me to write, and I love the component which is not judgemental: you're not reading my blog because I'm rich or beautiful or powerful or anything but what I show my heart to be.

One of the things you wrote in a post about mothering that I've thought about a lot had to do with not revealing everything about our children once they're older. I agree. Even though we're anonymous, there is a degree of privacy it's appropriate to uphold.

I am always intrigued when I visit you, see what you're thinking, what current issue you've posted on. Unlike me, you live much more in the world than within your self.

Finally, I am enjoying the Wild Woman book. I thought it would be more stories, and less explanation, but it is a very provocative book and very applicable, even to the somewhat reserved females I know.

[Lauri]

I love all the reasons, the differences and the similarities.

[Kathy]

Wow. What a snapshot of our times. Thanks, MotherPie!

[Joared]

Am enjoying reading the results of your study. My fairly recent entry into the blogosphere, then blogging, has had me wrestling with many of these issues. I find the whole experience quite disarming; then found the horse got out of the barn door before I could get it closed.

[MotherPie]

I think the blogging trends are happening so fast that we are living them before we even understand what is happening and how it is changing us. I found these answers terrifically interesting, especially ones where our language is even changing. "Talking" online, "being the same" but how can we be the same without our physical bodies?

We all have different personalities, in person and online...

Bellazza, you always are reading good books, too. In fact, we were both reading the same award-winning book and couldn't get through it. I never finished it. I don't even remember what it was...

[Jeff]

In the virtual world, I'm often confused with Russell Crowe and Antonio Banderas when it comes to physical appearance ..... with F. Scott Fitzgeral or Edward Hoagland when it comes to writing .....

In the actual world, there is no such confusion on the part of those who see me or read my writings (sigh)

[Bellezza]

Mother Pie, I think it was Inheritance of Loss. BORING! I just could not get into that one, even though it won the Booker Prize, and there's not much better in life than a book. Even if it hasn't won a prize. I'm glad we share a love of reading. I like when you respond to my comments left on one of your posts.